But I am here. Gerald, intent on his trail, ignored it. She was not very clear about the position and duties of a chorus-girl, but it certainly had the air of being a last desperate resort. Besides, he was a Yale man. Sheppard. She 191 picked up the remote, usurping it of its dividing status between their bodies. Think of those days in Paris. Her family are solid West End people, Kensington people. Which, if we are not all of us very careful indeed, will be stolen from Miss Charvill. Was it that the struggle of things to survive produced as a sort of necessary byproduct these intense preferences and appreciations, or was it that some mystical outer thing, some great force, drove life beautyward, even in spite of expediency, regardless of survival value and all the manifest discretions of life? She went to Capes with that riddle and put it to him very carefully and clearly, and he talked well—he always talked at some length when she took a difficulty to him—and sent her to a various literature upon the markings of butterflies, the incomprehensible elaboration and splendor of birds of Paradise and hummingbirds’ plumes, the patterning of tigers, and a leopard’s spots. “What have I been all this time?” she asked herself, and answered, “Just stark egotism, crude assertion of Ann Veronica, without a modest rag of religion or discipline or respect for authority to cover me!” It seemed to her as though she had at last found the touchstone of conduct. ’ ‘I thought so,’ Gerald said with satisfaction.
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