It is so difficult. "Open them when you get on board—not before, and act as they direct you. Perhaps, as you say, I do not really care—but I cannot do it. It seemed to her the last desperate attack upon the universe that would not let her live as she desired to live, that penned her in and controlled her and directed her and disapproved of her, the same invincible wrappering, the same leaden tyranny of a universe that she had vowed to overcome after that memorable conflict with her father at Morningside Park. She had already killed more than she wanted to count, yet she had counted them still. “You know that I have always hated this!” She 264 looked down at Michelle’s pitifully bloody head, her body barely hanging on to its breath.
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